David Silverman wrote a wonderful column last week for the Harvard Business Publishing Blog, entitled “Why is Business Writing So Bad?” which bemoaned overwritten, bloated language, so common in business writing.
Here is a fun and illuminating test David presented to rewrite a bloated phrase to clarity. Can you rephrase this bloat to three words? (Answer at end of post.)
It is the opinion of the group assembled for the purpose of determining a probability of the likelihood of the meteorological-related results and outcome for the period encompassing the next working day that the odds of precipitation in the near-term are positive and reasonably expected.
Bloated Writing Tip:
One of the most effective methods to eliminate deadwood and bloat in your writing is to focus on active, meaningful verbs.
Eliminate Jargon Tip:
This month’s newsletter identifies beaten-to-death jargon ready for retirement.
Answer to Rewrite:
It is the opinion of the group assembled for the purpose of determining a probability of the likelihood of the meteorological-related results and outcome for the period encompassing the next working day that the odds of precipitation in the near-term are positive and reasonably expected.
Rain likely tomorrow.
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Your post hits the bulls-eye. This problem is one of my reasons for starting my blog a couple of months ago. Not only is bad business writing annoying; it can be costly and even dangerous. Thank you for spreading the word.
So true! No place for bloated writing especially if you’re marketing.