Condolence Letter Tips

Today is the eighth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks here in the United States.  Thousands of people lost their lives, and many more hearts were broken by family, friends and co-workers lost.

I am sometimes asked if a condolence letter is necessary, or even suitable, in a business relationship.  It’s an easy answer. Yes. Reaching out to console a colleague in pain can never be inappropriate.

TIPS TO WRITE A CONDOLENCE LETTER

DO:

1. Send a written note or email message. (A written note is better, but if you only have a colleague’s email address, do reach out by email.)
2. Don’t worry if your words are not eloquent. It’s nearly impossible to find wording that fully expresses deep ache. Your recipient will be comforted by your sincerity, so express what you feel.
3. Acknowledge your recipient’s loss.
4. Express your care, concern, empathy, or friendship.
5. Close with an expression of sympathy.

DO NOT:

• It is best to avoid any specific religious sentiments, unless you are sure your recipient shares your beliefs. “You are in my prayers” is suitable because it is generic, and expresses spiritual support. “Carolyn is now home with Jesus,” for example, would not comfort someone with agnostic beliefs. Focus on your recipient when expressing any religious reference.

• Tell the recipient how to grieve or minimize the loss. After my mother died, a friend sent me a note recommending that I not focus on it too much, as it was better to stay busy. She reminded me it was a loss most everyone faced. That was not helpful.

In upcoming posts, I will share examples of condolence letters to a business colleague for:

Condolence Letter for Loss of a Spouse

Condolence Letter for Loss of a Child

Condolence Letter for Catastrophic Loss of Property

Condolence Letter to Colleague for Lost Job

If you have a friend or colleague who is experiencing grief, I hope these tips will help you find the words to comfort them.