Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans incentivize employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Explanation:
This contains a recently coined business-speak “verb,” which is an objectionable form of jargon.

Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans incentivize employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Here is the corrected version:

Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans encourage employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Are there any coined verbs business terms that you find objectionable? I recently read of the “mainstreamification” of social media!

Learn More in This Course: Business Grammar: Error-Free Writing

There is an easy rule to remember. “That” introduces essential information in a “restrictive clause.” “Which” introduces extra information in a “nonrestrictive clause.”

“That” Example:

• “Business writing expertise is the skill that is most valued.” The clause “that is most valued” is essential to the meaning of the sentence, so the correct word is “that.” You cannot remove the “that” clause without changing the meaning of the sentence.

“Which” Example:

• “We should all pay attention to David’s new product idea, which is likely to triple sales next year.” The second clause provides extra information, and it is not essential to the first clause. Therefore, “which” is correct.

Thanks to Corporate Geek for this clear explanation of how to configure Readability Measures in Microsoft Word 2007:

First, click on the Office Button and then go to Word Options, as shown below.

In the Word Options window, go to the Proofing section. In that section, check the option which says ‘Show readability statistics’ and click on OK.

Once this option is enabled, you can check the readability of any text by pressing the F7 key. Microsoft Word 2007 will first make a spell check of the selected text and, at the end, it will show you the readability statistics.

How To Enable Readability Measures in Microsoft Outlook 2007

In Microsoft Outlook 2007, the procedure is slightly different. First, go to Tools -> Options.

In the Options window, go to the Spelling tab. It is a good idea to check the two available options: ‘Always check spelling before sending’ and ‘Ignore original message text in reply or forward’. By enabling these options, Outlook will always check the correctness of your e-mails before sending them.

Once you have done this, click on the ‘Spelling and AutoCorrection’ button.

In the Editor Options window, go to the Proofing section. Check the option which says ‘Show readability statistics’ and click on OK.

Now, before sending an e-mail message, Outlook will first make a spell check of your message and then will show you the readability statistics. If you did not check the ‘Always check spelling before sending’ option from the Spelling tab, Outlook will not check automatically the readability of your message. You can do this manually by pressing the F7 key before sending the message.

NOTE: The readability statistics are not available for Powerpoint and Excel. You won’t find them in the configuration options. In Microsoft Office 2003, the readability statistics are available only in Word.

In a recent convoluted suit reported by Law.com, Graham Co. v. Haughey, a Philadelphia insurance brokerage firm brought copyright claims against one of its former employees and the firm he now works for. The plaintiff firm claimed that a former employee took copies of two company manuals when he left in 1991 to join USI Holdings Corp., and that USI Holdings ignored the copyright notices on the books and began using content and format in its own sales proposals.

At trial, the plaintiff’s lawyers set out to show that more than $31 million in USI’s revenue over a 13-year period was connected to sales proposals that included some of Graham’s copyrighted proposal content.

After a 4-year process of verdict and appeal, and massive legal fees, the $18.9 million verdict was affirmed. The court ruled it was illegal to use another company’s content or proposal format in sales proposals.

Proposal writing is challenging. A proposal requires a sharp focus on client needs, and evidence your company uniquely solves client problems. Language must be tight and format easily absorbed. These documents drive revenue for your business. Always use your own language, content, and even format.

Learn More in This Course: Proposal Writing Course

Word “czars” at Lake Superior State University published their 35th annual List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness.

Their complete 2010 list of words to ban from your business writing are:

1. Shovel-ready
2. Transparent/Transparency
3. Czar
4. Tweet
5. App
6. Sexting
7. Friend as a verb
8. Teachable Moment
9. In These Economic Times…
10. Stimulus
11. Toxic Assets
12. Too Big to Fail
13. Bromance
14. Chillaxin’
15. Obama as a prefix

Airlie Center has been called “an island of thought” by TIME magazine because many creative ideas have been spawned at conferences there: Martin Luther King, Jr.’s March on Washington and Earth Day are two notable examples.

We discussed the challenge of finding words that adequately convey the extraordinary beauty and facilities and amenities of Airlie Center, particularly in prospecting email messages.

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. One very smart salesperson has been appending relevant images of Airlie Center in the signature of her prospecting emails.

PROSPECTING EMAIL EXAMPLE:

Unlike a hotel, Airlie Center is a dedicated Conference Center with all inclusive packages.  Our Complete Meeting Package (CMP) begins with dinner, and includes the following:

Seven Guesthouses Accommodating 217 guests

Each guestroom offers serene charm coupled with modern amenities including:

• Cable television
• Lighted work area with analog and T1 data ports
• 2 private telephones with voicemail
• Personal coffee pot, hair dryer, iron, ironing board

17 Conference Rooms boasting 17,000 Square Feet of Meeting Space

• Designed to accommodate each group’s needs
• Understated décor, abundant windows providing natural light
• Comfortable ergonomic chairs
• Latest conference support technology

Recreation & Relaxation

Airlie’s picturesque, rural campus provides a perfect backdrop for jogging, walking, biking, fishing, and other nature based activities.  There is also a fitness gym and an outdoor swimming pool.  Team Building Activities, such as a certified ropes course instruction, can be arranged (additional cost will apply).

Airlie’s Whistling Swan Pub provides a warm ambiance for after-hours relaxation complete with darts, billiards, fireplace, and overstuffed leather chairs.  A game of golf, winery tour, skeet shooting, horseback riding and trip to enchanting historic Old Town Warrenton can also be arranged.

Dedicated Conference Planners
Airlie’s professional Meeting Planners work closely with you to deliver customized results.  From meeting room selection, setup and equipment requirements, guest room requirements, to food presentation and menu selections, our professional Meeting Planners simplify and streamline your job!

Day Meeting Packages are also available.

TIPS

• Be certain to customize the images to your audience. Send only those images that reflect the relevant services for your prospect.
• More tips on using email signatures for marketing messages.
• We tested Airlie’s signature images on three email systems: gmail, MS Outlook and a college proprietary email system. None required a separate click to download the images, as is required for images in the body of an email message in these systems. (NOTE: this was an anecdotal test only, and not conclusive, but does suggest that images in the signature are are more likely to be seen.)

If your products or service is visually compelling, use this wise practice from Airle Center to engage your reader and immediately differentiate your message.

As the holiday season and end-of-year deadlines approach, you’ll need to produce more documents in even less time.

Our November newsletter explains how to proofread when time is tight.

Learn More in This Course: Effective Proofreading Techniques

Too many cooks, throwing in too many ingredients, can easily muddle the audience focus and requisite content:

How to Write by Committee:

• Make sure roles are clearly assigned. You need a writer/editor and the sign-off designee:
  • Choose your best writer as writer/editor and recipient of all team feedback.
  • Choose the team member most familiar with the audience needs and benefits and product as sign-off designee.
  • All team members can, and should, provide feedback.

1. Start with a group meeting. Identify audience and content. (As taught in Effective Business Writing Techniques.)
2. For the first review, solicit feedback, not text editing, from the full team. What information do team members want changed? Make sure they are able to explain why they want that information changed.
3. Let the team writer/editor revise the document, based on the team feedback received. To hold clarity and voice, it’s best if multiple team members do not edit text.
4. For the second review, have team proofread for typos and errors, as well as message.
5. When the editor feels the document is ready, present it to the sign-off designee.

Beware committee bloat. If you have important documents that are shaped by committee, be sure to identify roles and process. You’ll save time and frustration, create documents that reflect your audience’s needs, and present a clear message.

Thanks, as a closing, and as an exchange wrap up, is overused in business email:

• Do not use “Thank You,” and your name as a signature. Every email you send will not need to convey thanks at the end, so do not automate this.
• If you over-thank, it will soon become meaningless or insincere.

In business, our jobs require that we solve problems. It’s not necessary to thank people for regular work tasks.

At the end of an email exchange, don’t add another email round by thanking someone for doing their job. If thanks is really warranted, make it meaningful. Draft a new email and express brief thanks for the above-the-call-of-duty work, and copy the person’s supervisor.

We’re all deluged with too much email. Save “thank you” for when it really conveys gratitude.

Learn More in This Course: Email Essentials: Productivity and Impact